By Michael Meade

In the midst of the coronavirus pandemic a sense of feeling helpless or hopeless can arise at almost any moment. Levels of personal anxiety naturally intensify as the virus spreads and mortality rates rise. However, the sense of personal worry also becomes elevated by the presence of general uncertainty and collective angst. In other words, the anxiety we feel does not simply arise in us, but also derives from the storm of collective anxiety and fear. 

As the general anxiety increases events can feel not simply out of one’s own control, but beyond anyone’s control. The failure of leaders to act in effective and caring ways raises the levels of collective concern and worry. And, we can feel the sense of desperation and high anxiety that arises from health care workers trying to help others while feeling increasingly unprotected themselves. 

Amidst the flood of uncertainty we can experience a lack of meaningful “holding images” that can steady the collective psyche. While at the same time, it is known that the practice of “social distancing” can contribute to a deeper sense of loss of social support. Connecting ideas like “we are all in this together” can be encouraging as can the notion that we can be physically and socially distant, but spiritually connected. 

Yet, as the period of individual sequestering extends, the higher than usual levels of anxiety can fuel other difficulties such as lack of focus, loss of sleep, lapses of memory and increasing levels of frustration and anger. There can be a greater tendency to react with denial or turn to addictive behaviors. Either way, we run the risk of becoming increasingly out of touch with who we are and what we are at the core of our lives.

The part of each of us that cannot be simply overwhelmed and that can actually grow in the midst of adverse and fearful circumstances is the soul. Soul is the essential third element that holds spirit and body together. It is the source of meaning, the well of memory and the connective tissue of all of life. Transformation is the essential aim of the soul which interprets each new trouble as a chance to awaken to a deeper sense of meaning and purpose in life. 

Soul has often been called the light hidden in the darkness. Ancient traditions around the world include the idea that each soul has an inner spark of life that grows by being seen, by being truly acknowledged and being supported by others. Those who truly support the presence of our soul used to be known as “friends of the soul.

“Anam cara” was an old Celtic term for a deep and abiding friendship, made widely known in modern times by the Irish poet John O’Dononhue. Anam is a Gaelic word for soul and cara means friend; taken together they describe a “soul friend,” a genuine ally and intimate confidant of a person’s true self and soul. 

In that sense, a true friend is not simply someone who is “like-minded,” but rather someone who sees something unique and meaningful in us. This older and deeper sense of friend referred to someone who knows your inner-most self and truly cares for your soul.

This deeper kind of friendship creates a shared sense of recognition, a true sense of being seen as who we are at the core of our being. It also gives a deep sense of mutual belonging. A person can have great difficulty sustaining a connection to their resilient inner self if they don’t have friends who recognize and confirm that deeper sense of self. 

During this time of greater isolation as well as high anxiety, it can be both soul making and heart-warming to be in touch with genuine friends of our soul. Such a friend can be a confidant and companion, a mentor or teacher, a lover or loved one and family member. Anyone who truly touches our heart and inspires us to trust and manifest our true self can be a soul friend and true support for our life. 

In these deeply turbulent and truly troubled times, we can draw upon the close friends of our soul, even if they are far away from us. The true friends of our soul can be old friends who simply come to mind. They can be writers and artists and saints who are long dead, but live close to us in spirit. The soul friends can be found in animals that touch us mysteriously and places in the world that make or made us feel truly present and fully alive. Our hearts know who and what can help rekindle the inner spark of our lives and the deeper sense of our soulful presence in this world. 

An ancient Hasidic tradition preserves the idea that when two people meet and become genuine friends, the unique sparks set within their souls become connected or conjoined. This subtle joining of spirit and soul through the meeting of friends was imagined to create an Angel of Friendship. The notion of angels of friendship helps describe how there is a coming to life that can encourage both the true inner nature and the genuine life purpose of each friend.

A similar idea can be found in Hinduism and Buddhism, where the devas can represent the angelic and benevolent presence of celestial beings. Devas can appear as dharma-palas or guardian angels that protect a person’s dharma or core purpose and way of serving in life. The more aware we become of our life’s purpose, the more light of the soul shines into the world and the secret hidden within us becomes visible and encouraging to ourselves and to others.

There may be no time when the sense of friends of the soul is more needed that these dark and troubling times in which the world can become an increasingly unfriendly place. As the pandemic spreads, so must the sense of collective anxiety and fear. There are behavioral practices that can reduce anxiety and there can also be practices that deepen our connection to our genuine sense of self and soul.

Whatever we imagine to be the friend of our soul helps us awakening to greater depths of understanding and compassion in the midst of all the sorrow and confusion of life. Seen this way, the essence of genuine friendship is both creative and generative. Through the joining of the inner sparks of their souls the light of creation in the world intensifies and this gives greater living presence to both the individual friends and to the collective life of humanity. 

In times like this that try our souls, it becomes more important than ever that friends of the soul help nourish the inner spirit as well as the true aims in each other’s lives. For each soul intends to awaken in creative ways that can also make them a “friend of the world.” If there is to be a meaningful transformation of life that helps humans become allies of nature and friends of the world again, the efforts to truly change will have to be reinforced and mutually supported at the deepest levels of the human soul. 

Something within tries to awaken further when we face existential threats; that is one reason why people will risk their own safety to help save the lives of others. Nature must do its healing work through the souls of those alive at a given time. We live in the midst of extraordinary times and the human soul expects to find extraordinary experiences. Yet, without a genuine sense of the presence and meaning of our own soul, we are less able to imagine ourselves as having meaning and contributing to the work of creation ongoing.

Ultimately, what stands against isolation and despair is the awakened soul; and what helps the awakened individual stay awake is the presence of genuine friends of the soul. Amidst the growing tragedy of the current pandemic and the continuing crisis of the climate crisis, creation wishes to continue. Despite and because of all the tragedy and suffering around us, it is our sacred duty to support and serve the sparks of holiness we find in each other and in the things of the world.