Poems from the Koures Symposium
and recent Voices of Youth events

On the frontlines of poetry

Running around in the sleep that takes place while people read poetry,
while people get to good places,
I'm falling asleep on the frontlines of poetry,
on the crest of the wave of rhythm and wondering-
what is my place in this war on barriers,
this war on the ego,
these attempts to dissolve the walls that prevents us from the big mind,
the true self, the walls of the one world totalitarian union,
only glimmers allowed of the lay person, the every person's need to get
food, nourished and fixed.

The war that wants us to realize what's inside,
the war that dissolves, plugs up and puts an end to all other wars because
the inside war is the real deal-
this is the shit we mistake and blame others for-
this is the war poetry is bringing,
and while all these hearts are singing
I'm nodding off, falling asleep on the frontlines of poetry,
the big rhythms and better yet polyrhythms bringing the goods
back inside to the refugees of the soul
dropping off the needed supplies,
crates of meds to heal the wounds and bombs to break down the walls that have
cut this deep and bound us tight in places without allowing us to be free.

We're here with poetry,
to break down these walls that have separated us for too long,
separated East from West, North from South, Sky from Earth and life from death,
separated the dance of destruction's realization as the dance of life too -
the cut off that stopped me from integrating and got me so tired to begin with,
and the woman, say Kali, stomping on, say Shiva,
and all a part of Brahman-Atman or the Big One Mind,
all-ness and one-ness-

here we are dancing on the frontlines of this oh so important war-
all in jest really,
but operating on all levels,
pushing back layers of eternity while
watching and feeling spheres in their loving embrace collide-
all these layers where the trickster is vehement too-
Big Mind cognizant of it all-
oversoul, soul underneath it all, the ever prevalent undercurrent,
these popular events, current events,
the one big eternal event,
ever lit and ever flaring candle flame.

Here we are on this quest - beautiful-
and I'm falling sleep here with gourmet poetry
cuz I flew too close to the sun with
wings made of wax and
I'm tired and I need a rest - tired of firing
uncompassionate cannons at the wall,
maybe not so wise after all - just wild-
and there it is,
now I'm tired and wondering-
what's unplugged and do I care?

Would I rather show up or push on with desire
the feelings that want to dance hard while I can-
burning out like the eternal flame that caught the whole world on fire-
I'll know it and go there and fuck responsibility and fuck reality-
I'll let someone else light it up again,
and someone else can drum up a tree from the ash-

Now too subdued by life too tough-
resignation seems easy
I'm tired already, not even done being a teen-
I think of getting old and it's too much
already on my way a desolate dharma bum,
Dreaming of peace the way the thirsty dream of a fresh water sea,
the blind dreaming of the light,
the drunk of the holy whine-
just hearing the world moan-
the spiritual sexuality of the world longing to be one
the dervishes spinning and just witnessing sad ecstasy
on the frontlines of gourmet poetry,
resting my bones and I'll walk the black muddy river later-

This is not my war I protest, but otherwise-
I know-it's the only war there is and
reluctant or not
we're all in the big boat going home,
but I want resignation
I want peace
sometimes, when I'm not too tired, I want bliss

so today I just gotta hear the song played real slow so that I can rest my bones.

Derek
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I Cannot Learn

I cannot learn from my mistakes
I'm not allowed to make them
I cannot learn to be brave
I'm never put in danger
I can't learn to love
It's almost never here
How am I suppose to learn to live
When I'm being lived for
I realize I might be crazy
Maybe my problems are not problems at all
Maybe I just want excitement
Or could I really be suffering
I have no idea
I have no idea who I am
I have no idea who I want to be
All I know is who I am right now
Is not yet complete

Gaby
___________________________________________________________________________________
Untitled

Turned on the news today.
Apparently, God hates fags, the war in Iraq is destroying our country (to say nothing of theirs), the economy has gone to pot and millions of people have lost their homes and jobs. Education's fucked, CO2 is destroying the environment, and the Republicans voted against Mother's Day last month (True story!)

I walked outside today.
It's summer, the flowers are blooming. The trees are vibrant green. I gave up my seat on the bus to an old man, and he turned, shook my hand, and thanked me. A girl taught me to play drums, and a friend gave me a smoke when I was out. Another one inspired me.

We're some contrary motherfuckers, humans.

Ian
___________________________________________________________________________________
As I walk

As I walk into the night,
Down a dark alley barely lighted by a flickering street light,
I think I am alone but only for a second.
I hear footsteps behind me,
The presence seems so familiar.
I begin to fell all kinds of emotions.
I feel so uncomfortable.
Someone is walking in my shadow, my space.
A raspy voice begins to speak, telling me to stop.
The memories come back to hunt me.
Images of the faces of those who I try and forget.
I begin to pick up the pace, something slows me down,
I hear a glass bottle shatter,
everything becomes blurry, I can hardly see,
then it hits me:
I know who you are.
You're the one I used to call father,
you're the one who donated sperm to create me.
I stop, and stand there, not budging-
obviously you have something to say-
so do I.
I'll let you speak.
You begin to say:
"Did you forget my promise?
Oh, I bet you didn't forget
the night I took your innocence
and I told you not to tell a soul.
I gave you life,
I will take it away."
You grab me by the neck and slam me to the ground
and try to strangle me,
but I fight back. You say to me:

"I let you slip through my fingers once,
this time you're not getting away,"
As you hold the shattered bottle pressing against my face,
it begins to bleed.
Your breath smells like liquor, as usual,
nothing changes.
I have my phone on, dial for help.
I say to you,
"I'm only going to say this once, hear me out,
I came too far to let you take everything from me.
I'm not some sad, pathetic spawn from your gene pool.
I'm something greater than you'll ever be."
For a second it becomes silent.
You let a tear drop,
it falls on my face.

You hear those sirens, they're coming for you
and this time you can't get away nor can you run.
The police pull up and take him away.
Now I feel safe knowing the fact that that piece of shit is far away, and is trapped for life to drown in the pathetic shithole that he created.
You got what you deserved.
I'm laying it to rest.

Joyce
___________________________________________________________________________________
I Remember


I always remember watching my mom cry
Cry in pain. I was always scared of her dying,
leaving me alone in this world.
Having three older brothers and me
the only girl; having an alcoholic father,
afraid of sometimes getting hit.
Always thinking about the negative things .
So hard to think about the positive.
I always remember that my father didn't believe in me.
Always telling me I'm going to fuck up in life.
Tired of him telling me I'm surely going
to end up like my brothers struggling in life.
I don't think my brothers fucked up in life,
they just made mistakes like everybody does.
See, I made mistakes too.
Almost stopped going to school.
I wanted to start working 'cause I was
scared of losing the family house
because we didn't have enough money
to pay for it - and we still don't.
Afraid of losing my mother when
she still needs to see me graduate
from high school and still needs
to show me how to love.
Show me how to be strong
even though I sometimes hated her.
Deep inside I just needed to relax.
I need to learn to relax!
All this remembering and struggling
has made me a stronger person,
a strong young Latina woman.

Maria
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The Thoughts In My Head Are Running Wild

The thoughts in my head are running wild. Maybe I need to organize them,
but in which order? The stress I have is heavy on me. The words I can't
speak because I'm afraid it doesn't make sense. I had a nightmare of my
closest friends leaving me. I'm learning that it came true in reality. I have to
face the fact that I need to let go of those I care about. I have met my goal,
my motivation to a better life.

We can unite as a team because we are a community, we come together and
make something happen. Citizens of Africa, the ground that we walk on is
not here. This is not our continent, we are in America.

Ending the anger we have is our goal. To a better life, we must come
together, in God's name we pray. Ending the battle between two sides. I
wish this can come true.

The South and North side know better. Why should we fight. Bleeding the
same blood between families and cultures, what wrongs can make a right?
Truth will come soon.

I was brought in to the earth by my parents. I appreciate the way I was
brought up. My spirituality in this reality is very outgoing and open to those
who are curious to know. The autonoetic is always taking me higher like the
mountain tops. The word of negrocity is something that I can't explain.
Maybe the next person can tell me. I want to understand what it means. I
truly love learning new and fresh words. To have them all roll off my
tongue, very smoothly.

Nyajuok